Happy Cry

I started crying last night as I was reading Reese her bedtime story "Guess How Much I Love You". Maybe it was my overwhelming gratitude and emotion for being blessed with two beautiful amazing girls, a wonderful husband and pretty much everything I've ever dreamed of, or maybe it was just my joy to be home from the hospital and reading bedtime stories to my little Reesy again. Most likely it was postpartum hormones mixed with exhaustion, but either way it was a happy cry.

Reese noticed and looked up at me, "mommy cry? mommy sad?". I explained to her that I wasn't sad, I was happy. I told her that sometimes when you're so happy, you cry. She looked at me puzzled so I went on to tell her how happy I was to be home with her, to have baby Anniston and daddy and to have such a happy family. I said, "I'm just so happy it made me cry a happy cry."

That's when she started to fake cry, "Wa wa wa wa, Reesy happy cry too." Then she gave me a big hug and kiss, which really just made me want to cry a little more.

Anniston

Anniston Sophia Thiebaud
Born Monday, March 21,2011 at 12:26 p.m.
7 lbs. 2 oz.
19.5 inches

It's official...we are in love!



On Monday morning, the 21st of March, I woke up about 7 a.m. with stabbing pain to my left side. It literally felt like someone was stabbing me over and over again. I stood up and almost passed out. I was dripping sweat and could hardly breathe. It was the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. Arnold woke up seeing I was in pain and I could hardly speak to explain to him what was going on. After about 10 minutes the stabbing turned into a throbbing pain that was much more bearable but still left me unable to move. I thought it was over, but after a few minutes the stabbing pain returned. We decided to call my doctor to see what this could be. I was certain it wasn't contractions, as the pain was on my side. However, Dr. Gourley wanted me to go to Labor and Delivery as soon as I could. We called our friends to find someone who could take Reese for us and prepared to leave for the hospital.

When we arrived at Labor and Delivery they hooked me up to the monitors and discovered that I was having contractions that correlated with the pain. They determined that something else was probably causing the pain, but when I had a contraction it was intensifying the pain. Dr. Gourley thought it could have been my kidney, my old cesarean scar tearing, an ovarian cist, or the baby putting pressure on any number of internal organs. No matter the cause, he suggested we go ahead and perform a cesarean and take the baby out. This would put her 3 weeks early, but he was more concerned about my health than the small risk of a pre-term baby. Arnold and I agreed, so we got ready to welcome our little Anniston a lot earlier than we had expected.

We called my family to let them all know what was going on and then called our friends to make sure they could keep Reese for the rest of the day. This time around was going to be very different from when we welcomed Reese. I was excited that I would be fully awake to see Anniston the moment she came into the world. I was unfortunately under anesthesia with Reese and didn't get to see her for hours after she was born. However, as they prepped me for the cesarean I became very nervous. I didn't like being strapped down and started to panic. Arnold was there to calm me down and hold my hand, and before I even realized what was happening I heard Anniston start to cry. The nurses and doctors where laughing because she started crying before she had even been taken out of me, and she had a very loud cry. As soon as she came out they lifted her over the shield and let me see her. She was so beautiful. She had a lot more hair than Reese and it appeared curly. She was screaming like crazy and everyone kept commenting that she had a good set of lungs. As soon as they got her cleaned up a little, they let Arnold hold her and put her right by my head. I got to spend a few minutes with her, give her a kiss and then she and Arnold headed to the nursery to finish cleaning her up and check to make sure she was good and healthy. It was an amazing experience to welcome my baby girl into the world.

As soon as they got me stitched up, I headed to recovery for about an hour and then they let me head to my room in Mother/Baby where I was very quickly reunited with little Anniston. She was absolutely beautiful; so tiny and sweet, and most important she was completely healthy. At 7 lbs. 2 oz. you would never know she was 3 weeks early.

Arnold and I felt so blessed. We couldn’t ask for more than a beautiful healthy little girl.

They also gave me a clean bill of health. They never could determine what was causing the pain, but it hasn’t returned since Anniston was born so the doctor thinks it must have been the baby putting pressure on one of my internal organs.

Words

I have little talks with Reese, almost daily, about "using her words" to express emotion, instead of crying or throwing a fit. It must be sinking in...

After I told Reese she couldn't have any candy until she ate her lunch.

Reese: I not happy mommy.

Me: Why are you not happy Reese?

Reese: Reesy mad!!

Me: Why are you mad? Can you tell me why?

Reese: Mad at mommy!!

Me: I'm so sorry you're mad. But I still love you.

Reese: Not happy! Just mad at mommy!!

I never could get her to tell me it was about the candy. I just knew. But I'm glad she's using her words.

Bed Rest...

It's no secret this pregnancy has been a rough one. From the start I've been sick, deathly tired, labeled "high risk", baned from exercise, told to stay off my feet as much as possible, and suffered just about every pregnancy symptom from the stereotypical to the obscure. I guess it's only fitting that I would once again be put on bed rest for the final 2 weeks. Like the cherry on top of all suffering, I feel tortured. I'm in full nesting mode; anxious to get my house cleaned, organized and everything just perfect before the baby comes. But instead my legs are banned to horizontal positions while I suffer constant discomfort and pain.

The words of one of my favorite poems keeps circling my mind...

"The easy gift, is easy to forget.

But what is bought with coin of pain...

Is dearly kept!"

"Coin of pain"....my account is in the red.

That being said, I remind myself that I asked for this. I wanted this. I prayed for this...even begged for this, and I wouldn't take it back for anything.

There was a time in my life that I wondered if the role of motherhood would ever be mine. I had submitted myself to the Lord and knew what ever path my life followed would be what he wanted for me. My happiness has never comes from a title, but from inner peace of the spirit; knowing my life is in sink with the Lords will.

So here I sit...or lay...miserable but happy. With each kick to my internal organs I'm amazed and grateful for the life that grows inside me. She will be dearly kept!

Pregnancy and Potty Training...don't mix

Reese is slowly but surely making progress in the potty training department, no thanks to me :)

After a couple failed attempts on my part (one in November and one in January), I gave up. I never thought I'd be "that" mom; the one that just gives up on potty training. I'm pretty sure if I weren't "pregnantly" exhausted, I wouldn't have been...but it is what it is. Not to mention that was the advice I got from her pediatrician (and a few smart mom's in my neighborhood). He's one smart man, because everything he said... is indeed happening.

He predicted that with Reese's stubborn attitude and strong will, there's was no way I would be able to force this step on her. Since she was also showing all signs of "readiness" for potty training and a clear understanding of the process, he suspected that if I backed off and let her run the show she would probably potty train herself when she was good and ready.

Well, we're about half way there. Reese still wears a diaper, but about 75% of the time she goes into the bathroom all by herself, takes off her diaper and goes on the potty. She even knows how to clean up after herself. Sometimes she tells me so I can supervise, and sometimes she just does it all alone. She also wakes up dry every day.

So you may be wondering, why I don't just put underwear on her and finish the deal....well....that's one area she is still protesting. I casually ask her all the time if she wants to wear her fun Minni Mouse and Princess panties, to which she calmly replies, "no thanks...diaper".

The next step is just getting rid of the diapers and not even having that as an option, and quite frankly if I weren't mere weeks from giving birth, having contractions on and off, in constant pain and misery, and suffering from a coma like tiredness, I would move forward with that step.

Timing...it's a funny little thing.

I'm now subscribing to the philosophy that she'll learn eventually, so don't stress about it. I mean really...she's not even 2 1/2 yet. I guess I was just hoping I wouldn't have to pay for diapers for two kids. Although Reese's diaper usage has gone down considerably. I guess I should be grateful for the small things.

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Reese in the shower yesterday...at the top of her lungs...

"HAPPY BIRFDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRFDAY DADDY! HAPPY BIRFDAY DADDY! HAPPY BIRFDAY TO YOU!"

Over and over and over again. It was really more screaming than singing. She must really like the acoustics of the shower.