happy-sad day

Logan went into the MTC today. I can hardly believe it. I've felt a little sad tonight. I remember my first night in the MTC and I remember how scared and homesick I was...and how hard a mission can be. It's not easy to think of someone you love so much, possibly feeling the same way. But I also know what an awesome experience is in store for him...and how life changing and wonderful a mission can be... and that makes me happy and excited. Many mixed emotions.

I can't even imagine what my sister must be feeling today. The first of her babies to leave the nest. I'm kind of glad I have many many years before I'm standing in those shoes. But I also know the time will pass much more quickly than I would probably like.

It feels like only a short time ago that I got the call that my sister was in labor and that little Logan was making his way into the world. I rushed to the hospital to be the first, besides his mom and dad, to hold him. It was love at first sight. It was the first time in my 18 years of life that I knew what it felt like to instantaneously feel such an overwhelming and unconditional love. Over the years he grew and he was my little buddy. He would run into my arms the second he saw me and would cry when I had to leave him. There was rarely a day in the first two and a half years of his life that I didn't see or talk to him, until I left on my mission. On that day he gave me a big hug and said, "I go wif you mimi?".  I cried for the first hour of my flight, at the thought of not seeing him for 18 months.

Many years have passed and now it's his turn. I know he's not a little boy anymore. I know he's ready and I know it's one of the greatest things he'll ever do. All that said, I can't help on this night think of the  innocent little eyes on a sweet little boy, and pray with all my heart that what ever emotions he's feeling tonight he'll be strong and know how much he's loved. And know by this great service he'll have the opportunity to share that love with many who so desperately need it.

We will be praying for you every day Logan!



And to my big sister who's feeling a little like her heart got ripped out today...thank you for having such amazing kids. And thank you for letting me love them like they are my own. When I think about how I made it through my twenty's and half my thirty's being single...I can't help but credit these three little munchkins who could always bring a smile to my face...even on my darkest days.